Jeff L. Thigpen Register of Deeds

Sunday, April 02, 2006

April 1st 2006- Top Ten from Sojourners

Top 10 most shocking events yet to happen in 2006

10. Secular northern Europeans riot and burn American fast-food franchises after misinterpreting reruns of Yosemite Sam cartoons as crude mockeries of their beloved Friedrich Nietzsche.

9. Karl Rove resigns, saying he wants to spend more time attempting to salvage his family's sagging approval ratings.

8. Michael Moore ambush-interviews Jimmy Carter while producing a shocking documentary to expose the seamy underbelly of international peacemaking.

7. Abramoff corruption scandal spans party lines as Libertarian and Green Party officials are implicated.

6. Russ Feingold gets little support from Democratic colleagues in his attempt to congressionally censure Arizona for beating Wisconsin in the first round of the NCAA tournament.

5. Imprisoned ex-head of state and war criminal Charles Taylor uses his one phone call to ask Pat Robertson to bail him out with the gold Robertson's company mined in Liberia.

4. Jim Wallis and Jerry Falwell set aside their differences for a celebrity JELL-O wrestling match to benefit cancer research.

3. Tom Cruise leaves Church of Scientology to become a Christian Scientist. "I'm really into science," says Cruise.

2. Afghan court sentences man to death for converting to metric system.

1. Congressional Republicans agree to amnesty for all illegal long as they promise to vote Republican.


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